Student’s View: I’m Autistic. Special Education Failed Me

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From kindergarten to sixth grade, I was in a special education program. I was placed in special ed classes because I learned differently as a result of having autism and ADHD. I learned better with visuals and had auditory processing problems, which are consistent with having ADHD, so I had to be taught quite differently from most kids. However, special education did not teach me differently. In fact, I actually learned quite little. As a result, I lagged behind my general education peers. 

I spent my time in special ed learning basic mathematics and the alphabet, even in fourth grade. My classmates, regardless of the level of support they needed, were all taught the same material in the same way. Our education was not personally tailored. 

I was separated from my general education peers all day and would see them only during recess. This made it quite difficult to connect with them, as we had no class time together. I was quite timid, so approaching anyone from the general education classes made me very nervous. 

When I moved on to general education in middle school, I found that special education hadn’t prepared me at all. I kept failing my classes, despite my best efforts, and I failed to graduate. Special ed also didn’t help me with my social skills, as I made no friends in elementary or middle school.

I felt like I had been thrown into a lion’s den without any weapons. I was not prepared in the slightest. 

Only through litigation was I able to move to a neurodiversity-affirming school. The district offered my family settlement money after we argued in a lawsuit that the school had failed on its promise to educate me. Because of those funds, I was able to attend a high school for autistic students who learn differently, like me. 

Something is terribly wrong with a special education system that consistently fails those it is supposed to help. An analysis from the Center for American Progress shows that special education students are substantially less likely to graduate from high school than their general education peers. The same analysis showed that, in 2015, students with disabilities were substantially less likely to be at or above proficiency in mathematics or reading. 

This is a system that needs radical reform. 

First, special ed students must be integrated with the general education peers. Being segregated made me feel like there was something inherently wrong with me, as if putting me in general education would lower the quality of the classroom. Integration would have exposed me to the type of material I needed once I entered middle school. As Jennifer Kurth, a professor of special education at the University of Kansas, told NPR in an interview, “study after study is showing that there’s no harm to being included, but there’s great risks of harm to being segregated. Kids [with disabilities] who are included develop better academic skills, better communication skills, better social skills, just kind of everything we try to measure.” 

It cannot be overstated how demoralizing being put in a segregated classroom is. It makes you feel like you have a pathology that hurts other students. It makes you feel like you’re less intelligent and less capable. My classmates at the time told me it felt like we were hopeless causes. My peers said this in elementary school. Nobody should have to go through that, especially at a young age. 

Second, schools need to abandon the cookie-cutter approach to special education students, where everyone is taught the same way and receives the same accommodations. At the neurodiversity-affirming high school I went to, every student was taught differently, at their own pace. Because of this I went from being a middle schooler at a 4th grade reading level to an undergraduate at UC Berkeley and the founder of a nonprofit, Mentoring Autistic Minds. 

Third, students with disabilities and their families should be allowed to decide what services and programs they receive. At the moment, schools often make these determinations. In California, where I live, many neurodivergent individuals are able to choose what services and programs they receive through the Self-Determination Program. Data shows that nearly 70% of respondents are satisfied with the program. Through this program, I’ve been able to receive tutoring and technology vital for my educational journey. 

Before I had access to the program, my family had to sue in order for me to be able to determine what programs and services I receive. I couldn’t even get a tutor who specialized in students with disabilities until we put up a fight. It shouldn’t be this hard. 

If I had been able to choose which services I get, my family and I would have been able to avoid a litigation battle. If I had been able to integrate with my general education peers in elementary school, I would’ve been better prepared for middle school and for building social skills. Simply put, a lot of the mental anguish I went through would have been mitigated.

Integration and self-determination should be implemented in special education across the country.

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